Your face is a jimmy john
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
