Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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