My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize