I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
