I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
