I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
