I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
