ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
