is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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