fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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