ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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