perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
