I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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