Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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