I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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