dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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