using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize