it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
