hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize