i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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