Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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