I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
