Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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