we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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