final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
