C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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