we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
