this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This is the high leading the old right now
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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