That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.