I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial