she smelled like a LAN party
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends