i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
