And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
