..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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