this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
