hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize