winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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