OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
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so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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