he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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