We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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