just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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