is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
