please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize