watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
