I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
