Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize