I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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