I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
