I'm gonna have a badass scar
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just invented taco cereal.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
