I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
