Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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