all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
