Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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