I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this will be a night to untag.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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