Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
