why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
